10+ Mothers Who Disrupted Their Children’s Big Days and Marriages

While mothers hold a crucial place in family dynamics, some Redditors shared stories of how maternal love took an unexpected turn, causing disruptions in their marriages. Their narratives showed how their lives were affected by the unintended consequence of their mother’s influence.

From a child’s first steps to the sacred journey down the aisle, a mother is a steadfast companion, always wishing the best. Yet, the influence of a mother’s presence can take unforeseen turns.

Some people witnessed how their mother’s presence in their lives ruined not just weddings but also marriages. A few of them opened up on Reddit, sharing the emotional toll when a mother’s actions turned their once-joyous occasions into bitter memories.

Comments have been edited for clarity and grammar.

u/PotentialJaguar91: I’m 36, my wife is 28, and we have been married for four years. We have been together for six years, and we have a one-year-old daughter who is the light of my life.

My wife is a fantastic mother and partner. My mother, on the other hand, is ridiculous, and my wife has made me realize over time that my relationship with her is not healthy.

My mom tries to control everything, including our wedding (which I convinced my wife to accept and go with my mom’s ideas. She still resents me for it).

Since we started dating, my mother’s passive-aggressive behavior has made my wife hate her. I’ll admit I haven’t been as firm with my mom as I should have been.

This brings us to last night, our wedding anniversary. To celebrate it, I suggested we ask a friend to look after our daughter while we cook dinner and relax. Since we were new parents with no high-paying jobs, this was the most feasible option I could come up with.

My wife was disappointed that we couldn’t do anything bigger or better, but she agreed this was the best choice, and we decided to be home from work at 6 p.m.

I was returning home from work when I got a call from my mother asking me to come over because it was an “emergency.” When I asked the details, she began crying and begged me to come over.

It was already 5:30 p.m., but I live in an area with less traffic, so I stopped by my mother’s place to calm her down, thinking I would reach home on time. However, when I entered my mother’s house, I found her watching TV on her couch. I was livid.

She was calm and didn’t sound like the person I spoke to on the phone. Feeling angry, I asked her what the emergency was and reminded her that it was my wedding anniversary.

She said she wanted me to do some house tasks, which I thought she could do herself. They weren’t things that would qualify as “emergency” tasks.

However, she guilted me into doing them by saying things like I was a bad son. As a result, I texted my wife that I would be late. I told her I was at my mother’s house, but she didn’t respond to my message.

Before I knew it, it was 7:30 p.m., and my mother kept trying to put more tasks on me. I refused and told her I needed to get home. When I finally reached home, I couldn’t find my wife there. She had disappeared.

I was worried, so I texted and called her many times, but there was no response. I tracked her phone and discovered that she was at HER parent’s house (they don’t live far, around 20 minutes away).

She finally returned at 11:00 p.m., and as I greeted her with a glass of champagne, she told me to save it for myself because she wanted a divorce.

I was shocked and started breaking down. I asked her why, and she said tonight was the final straw in the many times when I had always put my mother first.

My wife said she expected today of all days to be our one time together, but my mom intervened on our wedding anniversary. I asked her what I could do to make it up to her and begged her to go to counseling, but she refused.

I asked her if there was someone else. She said that someone else is herself and that it’s time for her to start working on herself and stop worrying about me being able to put my mother first.

u/throwingaway57871: My mother is ruining my marriage despite the distance. She is a narcissist and was entirely against my marriage to my wife, mainly because we were 19, and she believed that we should see more people before getting settled.

When we broke the news to her over dinner, she cried dramatically and begged my wife not to marry me because she didn’t want her to be a burden on my life.

Anyway, after two years of going back and forth between no contact and some contact, my mother decided to come over to see our two kids.

The problem is that she makes offhanded comments that I overlook until my wife points them out afterward. Besides that, I don’t like my mother because of our history.

She has always disturbed my emotional and mental peace as a child, and I feel things would be better if she stayed out of our lives, but my wife cares about her relationship with my mother.

Despite everything, my mother blames my wife for “brainwashing” me into being against her when the truth is that I learned about my mother’s terrible side after years of counseling.

My wife doesn’t want my mom to hate her and cannot bring herself to cut ties with her, so I need to figure out how to have my narcissistic mother respect our boundaries, not say underhanded things, and have a good relationship with my wife at the same time.

u/big_head_small_face: I got married this past weekend on a rainy fall day, which put a damper on things but wasn’t the end of the world.

My then-fiancée (now-wife) and I got married in a barn’s basement. It was a beautiful area, very rustic. Our wedding day was chaotic, but it was nothing too bad.

While we were standing, ready to walk into the barn right before the ceremony, I kept getting questions like, “What about the ring bearer stuff?” Where are the corsages?”

Those questions were about little things I didn’t need to think about. Soon, we figured everything out, the music began, and we walked down the aisle.

At that point, I was pushing my mother’s wheelchair since she can’t walk because of multiple sclerosis. I moved her to the front row of seats where she was supposed to be.

However, when I put the wheelchair brakes, my mother angrily yelled, “I NEED TO BE OVER THERE!” In my opinion, she was exactly where she needed to be.

She was worried she would block off the aisle, but I’ve been doing stuff like this for her for 29 years, so I knew where she needed to be.

That moment ruined my mood and got me out of my mindset. Before this, I was in a good mood, ready to see my bride. I had told my now-wife that I would probably cry during the ceremony, but that never happened.

Throughout the ceremony, I kept thinking, “This would have been a magical moment if my mom hadn’t ruined my mood.”

I keep thinking about my wedding day, and it reminds me that I had waited my entire life for it, but my mother ruined everything. I always feel like crying whenever I think about it.

u/WhispersOfPorcelain: I just found out from my daughter that my mother-in-law has been telling her all kinds of horrible things about me. They used to talk every night before my daughter went to bed, and I never worried about it because who would?

One day, I caught my daughter going through my phone. When I confronted her, she refused to tell me why she went through it. Her behavior was very unusual, making me think something was not right.

When I asked her what she was looking for, she said, “I wanted to see if you’re cheating.” Then, I asked her why she felt that way, but she refused to answer my question.

A day later, I noticed she was upset when she came downstairs for breakfast. Worried, I asked her what was wrong. She said, “If I tell you, will I get into trouble?”

I responded, “Well, it depends on what you tell me.” Then, she told me what was wrong and started crying. She said that her grandmother told her to go through my phone.

She also said that my mother-in-law believes I am a narcissist and that her son married the wrong woman.

My daughter told me that her grandmother said we needed to divorce and that I was probably cheating on my husband. My mother-in-law had also asked my daughter to send her pictures of my text messages.

Upon learning what was happening, I was furious and promptly messaged my mother-in-law what I was thinking. She decided to turn it on me, saying, “Well, imagine how I am feeling. I’m having a hard time, too.” I was shocked.

I blocked her on all my kids’ devices and told my husband we would not be associating with her because she is unhinged, and that’s not something I want our kids to be around.

u/MsHarleenQuinzel88: I met my husband in our senior year in high school, and we fell in love quickly. My mom hasn’t liked him since the beginning, mostly because he’s white and I’m native. However, she had always denied this and said she liked him.

Besides, since we started dating, my mother has said things like, “he’s probably with other girls when he’s not with you,” “he’s not good enough for you,” etc.

Once, he was late for our date, and I tried calling/texting him, but he didn’t answer. I was freaking out because he always informed me whenever he was running late.

While I was panicking inside, my mom told me he was not answering because he was with another girl. A few hours later, he called me from his house and said he had gotten into an accident which broke his phone.

On our prom night, my mother was supposed to take me to his house, but she didn’t return home from work on time. Since I was getting late and my phone was in my mother’s car, he thought I wasn’t coming.

My mother didn’t let me take my phone from her car while he kept calling me. Eventually, I couldn’t make it to prom with him. That night, my mother kept saying, “I told you, he’s not good for you.”

She tried the same thing on our wedding day. She knew when it was and had plenty of time to find something to wear, but she decided to get a new dress when we picked up my dress and shoes. As a result, we got back home late.

By the time we got home, I had less than an hour to get ready and get there. Luckily, my brother was with me, knew the situation, and raced me there in time to marry my husband.

Even after our wedding, my mother kept passing remarks. She even tried to follow us back to our hotel room when we went on our honeymoon years later. She continues to talk badly about him. I keep telling her to stop, but she doesn’t.

My husband wants me to cut her out, and I know he’s right. She’s toxic, and I’ve gotten a lot of bad habits/personality traits from her.

This past weekend, my husband told me to leave. It happened after my mother started with her usual banter when I wasn’t around, and when I confronted her, she denied doing anything.

That day, my husband told me I should speak to her sternly and ask her to stay away from our lives. I knew he was right because she had been the source of all the problems in our marriage.

However, I cannot cut off my mother like that because it would mean saying things to her that I don’t want to say. So, I eventually left and started living with my mother.

She got excited and hugged me when I asked if I could stay with her because of the fight. It seemed like she was happy about our separation. I don’t want to lose my husband or son. I just feel so lost.

u/invelvettime: I broke it off with my now ex-husband because of his mother. She was CONSTANTLY invading space and stepping over boundaries in the most horrid ways she knew how.

She used to stop by our place, expecting me to cook full four-course dinners on the spot. She also encouraged my ex to spend our hard-earned money behind my back on things we couldn’t afford. She also barged in on date nights if she saw us eating out in public.

My ex neither said anything to his mother nor did anything when I confronted him. We argued about it for almost a decade.

Add that to the combination of our other issues, and I was just done. Let me be honest with you. Sometimes, I think it’s better to end a situation early than to suffer through it repeatedly for the rest of the foreseeable future.

Some days, I feel like a fool for remaining in that relationship as long as I did. Situations like this don’t improve unless your partner puts their foot down and is committed to keeping it that way.

u/AITA_27744: My late wife passed away years ago, and my mother loved her as a daughter since I am her only child. I loved her a lot, too.

However, after meeting my current wife and spending time with her, I am sure my late wife wasn’t the love of my life. However, I think my mother never really recovered from my late wife’s death.

The problem is that my mother has never liked my relationship with my wife, Helena. She thinks I moved on “too fast” and refuses to believe that my love for Helena is bigger than what I had for my late wife.

There were a few instances before our wedding when I thought my mother had crossed the invisible line, but my wife, who wanted to be accepted, let it slide and asked me not to take any action.

First, my mother constantly compared the wedding with my first one (We married young, and I couldn’t afford big things. However, I was financially stable when I met Helena and could have a big, beautiful wedding).

Besides that, my mother asked me several times to invite my late wife’s parents to my wedding as an act of love and to tell them I was still there for them. I refused because I hadn’t talked to them in years and believed I had no reason to keep them in my life.

My mother was very adamant. Even Helena said it was OK to invite them, but I didn’t want to. At that point, I felt like my mother hadn’t gotten over my previous marriage and wanted me to hold on to it as well.

As bad as it sounds, I was done. I wanted to be with Helena without the burden of always having my ex-in-laws there, watching the life her daughter and I did not have.

Despite my decision, my mom showed up with them on the wedding day. When I asked them what they were doing there, they felt ashamed and said my mother had invited them, and they thought it was okay.

Then, my mother told me my ex-in-laws were “my family,” and I had a duty toward them. I wanted to avoid creating a scene then, so I allowed them to stay for the reception. However, I apologized and reminded them that I hadn’t invited them.

I turned to my mother and said, “You’re not allowed to stay here anymore. Leave. We will talk later.” I kicked her out.

She cried and begged me to let her stay, but I was adamant and asked her to leave again. In the end, my mother and my ex-in-laws left together.

u/Pinchaser71: My mother-in-law has hated me since high school, but my father-in-law always loved me. Unfortunately, he passed away. He was the one who used to keep her in check to mind her own business.

Things started to go downhill during Covid lockdowns. That’s when my wife’s mother started manipulating her, turning her against me behind my back.

My mother-in-law schemed for months. Phone calls that used to be on speaker usually suddenly turned into only being with earbuds in another room or outside.

If I came near my wife when she was talking to her mother on the phone, she used to say, “Hey, I’m on the phone! Do you mind?” Other than that, there were no arguments, and things seemed happy and normal. Even our intimate life was as good as always.

Everything was going well until I was suddenly served with divorce papers. I was seriously caught off guard and even told the server, “I think you have the wrong person!”

When I asked my wife, she said, “I’m not talking about it. My mom and attorney said I can’t.” This happened a week after our 28th wedding anniversary that we had celebrated. I had ten days to find an attorney before the court and try to fight something I had no clue about. All the papers said was “irreconcilable differences.”

I tried to get through to her for the next eight days and begged for some explanation, but she only repeated, “My father would be proud of me for standing my ground.”

I was a mess. All I could do was cry. Our kids were so angry at her that they refused to talk to her other than telling her she was wrong.

Soon, I found out her mom was the one saying her dad would be proud. Her father was a religious man who would never be happy about divorce, which proved her mother was manipulating her. She also paid the attorney’s fee.

Luckily, the following day was Father’s Day, so we visited my father-in-law’s grave. While we were at the cemetery, my wife cried and said, “I hope you’re proud of me, Dad. I’m standing my ground.”

At that point, my oldest son looked at her and said, “Are you out of your mind? You are so delusional. Do you think Papa would be proud?!! Did you even know this man? Did your mom even know this man?! You couldn’t disappoint him more by giving up on your marriage for no valid reason. He’d be proud of you for getting through your problems and fixing them!”

My wife completely went to pieces right there at his grave, looked at me, and said, “It seems we need to talk.”

I replied, “Sure. When we get home, we will go to our room, grab a pen and paper, and discuss everything to find a solution.” I also asked her to call our attorney and tell him not to interfere in our lives. She agreed.

Upon reaching home, we talked, and I listened to her grievances. Honestly, they were just little things that got to her over time. They became significant enough for her to bring up, so they were important enough for me to fix.

After talking to her, I realized her mom was the one who blew everything out of proportion. This happened because my wife shared everything with her mother instead of me. Had she told me these problems initially, I would have fixed them.

The day ended with my wife calling her mother and saying she wouldn’t divorce me. Her mother argued, but my wife told her she was aware of the manipulation.

u/PastaNoodle22: I’ve been out of touch with my parents for almost 1.5 years. I got married (my parents were not invited) and moved away during that time.

At first, my husband would allow my parents to reach out to him in case of emergencies, but after they became hurtful towards him and tried to convince him to leave me, he blocked them.

After my mother couldn’t reach me or my husband, she began disturbing my mother-in-law. Earlier, my parents had no interest in having a relationship with my in-laws.

However, now, my mother sends my MIL late-night texts saying, “If you knew the truth about (my name), you would hate her too,” or “Shame on you for taking (my name)’s side in this fight.”

My mother repeatedly tells my MIL that she sees no future between my husband and me and that he would be better off with someone else.

I know my mother is hoping that my MIL will convince my husband to leave me. These texts make MIL uncomfortable, but she ignores our suggestions to block my mom, saying that “she doesn’t need to be told what to do.” It’s exhausting having a parent trying to ruin your life.

u/[deleted]: My husband and I recently got married, and he is a wonderful man. We both love each other, and our life is great. However, my mother’s behavior is now threatening my relationship.

My mother raised me and my sister all by herself. Our father ran away when I was four and my sister was two, but my mother never remarried.

Growing up, we never saw her even dating anyone. She sacrificed a lot to raise us, and we both are incredibly grateful to her and love her to death. However, there’s an issue with her—she is highly controlling.

For example, growing up, my mother never allowed us to lock our doors, not even the bathroom. She also entered our rooms at different times during the day and looked around for “bad” stuff. She also listened to our conversation whenever we would talk to friends on the landline phone.

When I got married, I gave her a key to our apartment. I allowed her to use it for emergencies. Since then, she has dropped in unannounced multiple times, and more than once, we have woken up in the morning to see her cooking something for us in the kitchen.

My husband did not like this and asked me to confront her. He wanted me to tell her that she should call us before coming. When I did, my mother brushed me off, saying I was being unreasonable.

She said she had the right to come to my house anytime to check on me because she was my mother. She said I would understand this after having kids.

A month ago, the subject of babies came up, and my mother told my husband and me that we needed to have children. She said that not trying to have children was not the right thing to do.

My husband tried to be civil about it and told her she had no right to discuss that subject with us, but it ended up with the three of us fighting over it. She left that night and didn’t call us at all.

Two days ago, she visited us unannounced again. When she didn’t find us in the living room, she entered our bedroom and found us in an intimate position.

She screamed because she was surprised, and we also did. That was when my husband kicked her out of the apartment, telling her she wasn’t welcome. She was so furious and was yelling at us so much that it attracted our neighbors’ attention.

That night, she called me and said I needed to come home and leave that horrible person I was with. When I said no, she gave me three options: leave him, ask him to apologize to her or forget that I have a mother and never contact her.

I told my husband about it, and he refused to apologize. He added that I should pack my things and go to my mother if I wanted to leave him. He also said that he would call the cops and file a report against my mother if she revisited our house.

u/Dry-Membership5575: Before I share my story, here is a summary of my mother’s relationship with me and my family.

I am my mother’s favorite among my siblings, and she has had an unhealthy attachment to me since my birth.

She has no boundaries with my marriage and has passive-aggressively insulted my wife for years. Due to this, my mom has been resentful of more time spent with her family.

Moreover, she married twice, and her relationship with her family members has always been toxic. After having my two half-brothers, she asked her mom to raise them so she could marry my father without baggage. Despite her past, she criticized my family values.

I was the only one to involve her in my life and with my two small kids. At the end of our relationship, I was hanging out with her once a week, which she thought was not enough.

She thought visits were rushed, too short, and not fun. My time is valuable! I work a demanding job, have boys aged three and four, and one on the way.

During this time, my mom demanded to join us on our vacation. She intentionally began trying to start serious arguments, encouraging me to “stand up to your wife for me!”

Upon witnessing my mother’s behavior, I told her she was causing marital problems. Instead of backing down, she doubled down and involved my arrogant brother, who likes to instigate from a distance and encourage manipulation.

The final straw was around June. She felt she needed to crash my Father’s Day and demanded to be involved, but I told her it was my day.

I told her we had plans and didn’t want to get into fights because of her. Eventually, our argument got to a point where my mother angrily called my mother-in-law and told her everything.

After the phone call, she texted us (including my wife), saying she was done with us and wished us a nice life. Soon after this, my brother and mother tried to buddy up. I have partially cut him off, too.

My mother also expressed she did not care if she caused a divorce. I spoke to her briefly on the phone a few weeks ago, and she still has no accountability or remorse. She thinks she did nothing wrong.

u/your-angel-bait: My mother ruined my wedding. When my vehicle arrived at the venue, she opened the door and began screaming at me and all of my bridesmaids about “not being prepared enough.”

My bridesmaids were very shocked and upset by this. Some context about not being prepared: Our minister had to cancel, but we had everything else planned.

My husband and I decided to proceed with the wedding anyway and have my cousin read the vows, a sort of unofficial but cute ceremony. She knew this was the plan well ahead of time.

Despite that, she screamed in front of everyone about how she was embarrassed and ashamed and that I was a scam artist. She said I only wanted to enjoy the party and take people’s money.

After watching her scream at me, my bridesmaids separated her from me. Then, I went away and began preparing for the ceremony, but she followed me and screamed at me and my bridesmaids again. It was pretty humiliating.

Eventually, this turned into a fight, and my mother started crying and ran away. I felt a bit terrible, so I went to find her and told her she could come in if she wanted. Instead of joining me and my bridesmaids, she went to the church and yelled that I was a monster.

She ruined the reception by taking out the sound system and trying to destroy the decorations. Thankfully, my grandparents intervened and told her to go away. She left with her boyfriend and made my sister and her boyfriend leave.

At that point, I felt like crying, but I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. As a result, I was upset the entire day and couldn’t even eat or drink properly. I was too (silently) distraught.

I was so relieved at the night’s end when people started leaving. I cried all night and for the next two days. It was pretty rough. Nobody knows that I am this bothered by it. I feel sad and angry whenever I think about my wedding day now.

As we conclude the exploration of maternal influence on weddings and marriages, these stories remind us that even the closest relationships can sometimes take an ugly turn. It’s always best to talk to your loved ones and sort things out before it’s too late.